i just found this message from years ago….

“Hey DJ.
Thanks for all of your support thus far with our app, Hipstamatic. Today we are super stoked to announce the release of SwankoLab, a brand new darkroom kit for iPhone. It’s a loving recreation of the pre-digital era classic. Choose chemicals, process photos, and experiment!
Below is a promocode to download and check it out. 
KR4TKWTRPE9Y

Later this afternoon on SwankoLab.com there will be a tweetblast happening for people to win an iPad. The SwankoLab tweetblast will start this afternoon and run until 11:59CST Sunday, April 11.

Cheers.Lucas & Ryan @ SwankoLab”

ahhhhhh the good old days when Lucas and Ryan were Hipstamatic…

My response to the dear Adult Instagrammer…

you can read the original post here:

Her words are italicised – my response is mixed in…

“Dear Parents of Under 13 Year Old Children With Instagram Accounts,”

well that’s me! all three of my young {under 10} sons have accounts @DrummondPaine @GalvinPaine and @JudahP all have instagram, twitter and Facebook.

“Are you okay with your child lying? I guess you are.”

woah…. not really…. and can i give you some soft advice: if you are trying to honestly and gently communicate with someone i have found the best way to reach someone is not to call them a liar in your opening breath…. imagine if i had something important to share with you, something i was super passionate about, and i STARTED TO YELL, point my finger and tap you in the chest and said: “I have a different view from you so that makes you a LIAR!!!” how would that make you feel? not so hot right? 

“If they will lie about their date of birth for social media when they are 8-12 years old, what about drinking alcohol when they are 13 to 17 years old? (Alcohol is just one example)”

hmmmm. i don’t know if i totally agree with the connection, but in my case i am the one who did the “lying” because i am the one who put their dates of birth into the platforms… not them…

“Are you okay with your child searching for, and looking at, porn, sex, drugs, alcohol and stupid or dangerous behaviour? I guess you are.
A simple search can show images of ALL these things. Instagram cannot police everyone, every minute, of every day – no matter how many people report inappropriate content.”

it would be silly for me to point out that they can do all of these nefarious things on any connected device anytime. if they were desperate enough they could even search out this in a bookstore, in a library, in a shopping centre. Back in my day i was exposed to all of these things listed above in school from my friends. there was no internet let alone instagram. So according to your logic should i ban them from…. everything?

“There is no reasonable explanation for allowing your children to have Instagram if they are under 13. You are kidding yourself and on some level you are cheating them out of a childhood.”

Once again dear dear impassioned writer and caring mum, you do not win minds and hearts by accusing parents of cheating their children out of childhood. if i was you and wanted to make a point, i might word that differently – like maybe say that you are scared that some children might be cheated out of a childhood… {what does that even mean by the way}

I know a lot of parents who have flat-out told me ‘it’s just too hard to watch everything they do online’. I consider that lazy parenting. Have you at least read the Instagram Tips for Parents section..? If you cannot be bothered clicking on that link – here’s some of what they have to say to parents:

“We encourage parents to exercise any discretion they can on their own phones and in overseeing their child’s internet use.

Here is where i agree with you whole heartedly. I believe that for the poor overworked, underpaid, struggling single mums out there with kids who are way smarter in the technology department then they are, that after they get home from their second job to pay the rent, wash the school clothes, make dinner, help the kids with their homework and listen to the kids talk about their days… well if they get two seconds and can’t sleep and they find your little blog about instagram – well they should feel like a complete lying failure and a horrible parent because they let their 10 year old daughter have an instagram account to talk to their friends and cousins online….

sometimes…. sometimes it is just hard. sometimes we need to be loving and help those parents. and not yell at them.

“I’ve considered every possible response that I will receive to this, and in advance, here is my response.

Lying is lying. And you just can’t UNsee some things.

Respectfully yours,

An Adult Instagrammer”

Well i know i am wasting my time writing a few thoughts down because you are way way smarter than me, and have the mind as big as a planet and have thought of ever conceivable response the entire world could have… and to that struggling mum i invented above you just slap the phones out her kids hands and say loudly through clenched teeth as you pointed your finger at them “Lying is lying. And you just can’t UNsee some things.”

When having a discussion with someone that i would like to help it is not very helpful if i end my opening point with" Now i know what you are gonna say and let me tell you: you are wrong and i am right! i am way smarter and better!!!“ and dear friend, your line above that says: "I’ve considered every possible response that I will receive to this, and in advance, here is my response.” feels just like that. it feels like you don’t want to help me.

it feels like you just want to win. 

it feels like you just want to be right.

deep breath.

Dear Adult Instagrammer – i believe that banning my sons from different social platforms and connectedness is silly and defeats the purpose. I am frightened that there are loving caring parents out there who think, just because they are BANNING their kids, and following the letter of the law, that they are doing great in the parent department. Parenting is different for everyone. And here is my philosophy in a few random points:

– as adults we forget that the best way to make a child obsessed with something is to BAN it. Do you know any parents who are super healthy and only eat organic vegetables at home? their kids are not allowed sugar, maccas or anything fizzy? have you seen their kids at a birthday party un-attended? they are like little cocaine addicts tripping off there heads cramming handful of red frogs down their throats… my point isn’t to let kids do what they want, my point is to remember what it is like to be a kid, and when something is secret or off limits- it becomes a million times more attractive….

– when i was a kid and my mate from school shoved a girly magazine in my school bag and i discovered it at home {true story} i HID IT. it was thrilling, scary, weird, exciting and sexy. i got rid of it the next day {and got into a fight with my friend} – but a few days after that, i talked to my dad about it. because my parents had created a world for me where everything was talked about and i could come to them for advice…… my point here is twofold – parenting is talking and loving and openness, not BANNING. and now there is a digital trail of my sons, i know what they do online, i am involved… and i am involved in a MUCH DEEPER WAY than my parents ever were, because of the digital universe we live in now. not just for my kids but for my friends kids.

– dear friend, i want to lead by example to my sons and all of the people who look up to me. i get scared that for parents who are just a little misguided, that they begin to think in the “Letter of the LAW” instead of the example model. for example i know plenty of parents who love to booze it up at a party or at a footy game. The kids are told that they are not allowed to drink – “don’t you even think about it kids!!!” dad yells at them. and then the minute the child turns 18, they get wasted and sick or even worse… and the parents are standing around saying “Gee i don’t know what happened, i never let them drink at all, not one drop when they were underage!!” i know that is a basic and blatant point…. but here is my story:

i know that this is a controversial point in these enlightened times but i believe that all pornography is bad. i believe all porn is really evil. boom. said it. i believe that pornography is degrading and it brings nothing but badness into universe for all concerned. i hate it. i really hate it. – that it was i believe.

and yet, there have been times, a handful of times, when i have stumbled onto something online and my curiosity, my testosterone, my lust, my evil heart, have taken my down a scary and yucky and porn-filled path. 

that is not what i want. 

plus i am raising three men {they might be little boys now, but soon enough they will be men} and i want them to feel the same way about pornography. i want them to know that they will be tempted, that there will be times when they will want to look at it, and yet i want them to know there is a better way. a higher way.

so i lead by example. and in my world that looks like communication, talking and openness, a safe way to talk, be accountable to my loved ones. 

Filters, bans and blocks just make things worse because they assume the worse, i think they turn a lot of people into animals and the bad guys. Sharing, openness, communication and accountability makes us all into humans, into equals, into better people….. that’s what i want.

have i said too much? am i wrong? let me know.

Tectonic Shift

i love music.
no seriously…. i love music.
and i love Jesus.
no seriously…. i really love that Jesus the Christ fellow.
so it might not make much sense when i confess that i hate Christian Music. No seriously…. i really, really, really do not like the gutter genre of Christian Music.
But it wasn’t always like this.
My history: i “discovered” popular music when i was 11 / 12 years old  {back in 1983 / 1984} – and it changed my life. i sort of came alive when i discovered music and the history and the breadth of all the music!!
when i think of that time i think of Genesis 2:7 “And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.” 
on the flip side i also think of Genesis 3:5 “For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.” {NOTE –  that might be more about my conservative upbringing…. like why do i have the king james version of the bible in my head? anyway…..} 
the second half of the 80’s was my music playground and education and then the 90’s was my music university. i still have boxes and boxes of cassettes, vinyl and literally thousands and thousands of Compact Discs in my garage {the bane of my patient non-horading wife Benita}
Actual history: Christian music used to be amazing. It used to be great. The 70’s, the 80’s and the 90’s are three decades of creative people using all types of music to explore their faith, their world, their cultures. It grew and grew and grew! every decade building on the groundbreaking work the generation did before it. Christian music of every conceivable genre was pretty much as good as any other music ever made and often times it was incredible and amazing and better than anything else ever made.
and then……
And then the new millennium rolled over and two things happened: The old music industry died and the rise of the genre of modern worship music happened. Those two things sealed the deal for creative artistic exciting explorative new christian music. Because the music industry collapsed and money was tight – everyone went “safe” into the boring, trite, repetitive, mushy world of christian worship music. it all sounds the same and it is lyrically so unconvincing and lightweight. it follows the bland white man soft rock genres that; at best puts me to sleep and at worst makes me sick.
and yes i am greatly generalising, and yes there are always exceptions to both sides of the story!
in the end i really do think that the death of the music industry was great because it is forcing the true creative and talented musicians to just make music. we have gone back to music industry of the 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s – musicians release songs and do shows and work on a smaller scale to attract a following. the concept of the album {something created by big record labels} is disappearing again.
Add to that that the concept of separate christian music area is disappearing again. Back before the 70’s if you were a christian musician you just put your music out there like everyone else, you couldn’t go to the christian record label, christian radio station and christian music festival… you just released your art into the universe like everyone else. that’s why when you look back at the music from the 30’s to the 70’s if an artist like Elvis or Johnny Cash wanted to sing the Gospel Hymns of his youth he released it like any other normal song, he didn’t seek out a christian version of the industry.
Anyway i am ranting a little, let me take a breath and get to my point.
==breathe in==breathe out==
As someone who hates contemporary christian worship music my world has just been quaked.
Last night i stumbled across a christian worship band that is making amazing art and the lyrics are beautiful and the music is creative and it feels real and moves me in a way i have not been moved in a long, long, long time.
The band is from Seattle USA and they are being promoted by the tiny grassroots collective known as Bad Christian – the band is KINGS KALEIDOSCOPE. Not a great band name i know, but don’t let that put you off, we all have favourite bands with awful names. 
I have said all of the above to leave you with this: 
do yourself a favour and check out this band: Kings Kaleidoscope.
just watch the first 11 minutes of this: that is all it took for me. this was the 11 minutes that have honestly changed me and moved me and made me write all this.